


Full Disclosure

by Matril



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Welcome to Sanditon
Genre: F/M, Probably more than one conversation actually, The conversation that has to happen at some point, This could be how the first one goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-25 00:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matril/pseuds/Matril
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sooner or later, they're going to have to have this talk. Unless he already knows everything, which would be a whole different problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Disclosure

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is really about Gigi, because let's face it, Sidney is pretty much an attractive blank slate. Dealing with the question of when and how you tell your boyfriend about your last relationship, you know, the one with a manipulative scumbag?

They were coming out of the double feature at the Cinematheque, and Gigi was terrified.

She knew what she had to do. She had planned out the words she needed to say, but they weren't coming. Sidney was giving her that goofy grin as they walked hand in hand down the street, and part of her thought, _Oh, why ruin the moment? Some other time. Maybe never._

But that was just cowardice. Once they had made their way to a cozy bench across the street, she took a deep breath, looked at him and said, "So we've been dating almost three months now. And it's been amazing. But there's something I – I need to tell you." Her throat seemed to be closing up. "Why is this so _hard_?" she muttered.

Sidney hesitated, then said, "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No! Oh, no, no, not at all. The opposite, in fact."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you proposing?"

She giggled, relieved to make such a normal, happy sound. "No. Wow. Okay. It's just that – I want you to know me, and understand me. Because I want to make this work. So you need to know." She could feel her forehead crinkling up. "The thing is, you might already know about it."

He was frankly bewildered by this point. "What exactly do you mean?"

She braced herself. "Did you watch all of the Domino videos?"

"Uh – most. I think I saw all the parts with you."

"But – _all_ of them?" Oh, this was so awkward.

Sidney eyed her, half-joking, half-serious. "Is this some kind of test? If so, I think I'm failing it."

"No, no, I just had to make sure. So you didn't see the early test, the one with me and my brother and our friend Fitz?"

"Fitz?"

"No. Okay, good. I mean, it simplifies things. I hope."

At this point Sidney seemed to have given up making any guesses, so he just waited patiently.

Another deep breath. "I had this really bad relationship. It was – I guess it was abusive. Not that he beat me or – but emotionally, it was awful."

Sidney's face was soft, serious, caring, just about everything she could hope for in response to the big load of garbage she'd just dumped on him. "I'm so sorry."

"And also," she plunged forward. "I talked about it on the Internet. Like, on someone's vlog. And there were some other things that happened during the initial Domino test, and I thought maybe you might have seen – but I'm glad you didn't. I wanted to tell you on my own terms."

"Okay."

She could feel his hand tightening around hers and wondered if he was hiding an internal freakout. "Okay?"

"I mean, it's not okay that someone treated you like that," he said. "But thank you. For trusting me enough to tell me."

Gigi didn't even realize she had been shaking till that moment, when a wonderful calm stillness came over her, and both of them relaxed. "I don't know why this is still so hard," she said quietly. "I mean, it's way easier than it used to be. I couldn't even talk about it for months. And William – poor William, he felt so bad."

"Your brother? But it wasn't his fault, was it?"

"No. But he blamed himself anyway. See, it was a former friend of his. And I knew he wouldn't approve. That's kind of what made the relationship so attractive to me. I thought I was finally making my own choices, being a grown-up. But George –" Yes. Yes, she could say his name without stiffening up now. "He had a way of making me think that something was all my idea, my choice, when really he had manipulated me into it. It was so scary afterward; I felt like I couldn't trust myself or my own judgment at all. That's one of the reasons why it took me so long to tell William I didn't want to go to grad school."

"But you did tell him."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, after wasting all that time on the application! But yes, I did. And it was the most amazing feeling." She squared her shoulders. "I've come a long way. But if there are still some times when I seem afraid to trust you – or trust myself – it probably has nothing to do with you. It's just where I'm coming from."

He nodded slowly.

"This is weird," she blurted suddenly. "Like, when do you tell someone this? Not on the first date, obviously. It's hardly appropriate material for small talk. But if I waited too long, that wouldn't be fair either."

"This seems like the right time," Sidney said, venturing a small smile. "For what it's worth, I think you have great judgment."

"That's –" She could feel a pricking at the corners of her eyes. "That's worth a lot."

He put his arm around her, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. That calm stillness lingered, assuring her that she hadn't ruined the moment after all. She'd just made a better one.


End file.
